I’m so grateful for my baby-cat. I’ve begun writing/drawing a comic-novel of how she came into my life. And, I’ve been learning to listen to her.
Today was a weird day. Something upsetting happened and I had a tough time coming to terms with it. I felt lost and despairing (not a good place to be, folks. always a good place to REACH OUT FOR HELP and to a human.) and I first turned to the cat for comfort. She reminded me to wait. And to eat.
Just by watching her I’ve come to understand some things. First of all, she knows what I need. If I need sleep, she’ll lie down on me so I can’t get up without bothering her. If I am drowning in sadness or self-pity, she will ask for food so I am distracted and have to think of a being other than myself for long enough to come back to the world. And if I’m angry at someone or afraid, she will also behave as if she is afraid of them – calling my own feelings to the front of my mind.
So tonight I asked her what to do, and I let her sniff my hand. She sat on down on the step (which is unusual, she would typically try to dart past me), and tipped her head gently to the side as if to say ‘wait,’ and I recalled an important message from long ago. I recalled that feelings pass with time. Good ones, bad ones, all feelings pass. She also sniffed the air, reminding me I’d been dishing up food for myself. She reminded me I was hungry, and probably in tears simply because of hunger.
I love my cat. I told her when I move out of here, I am taking her with me and it will be grand. I can’t wait another day.